Up Your ass with lump sum of cash because structured settlement cash now sucks. Lump sum for structured settlement is where you sell your structured settlement payments for a fraction of what it is worth.
In August 2015, as information started oozing out of Access Funding in Chevy Chase like a draining abcess, it opened up a lot of people’s eyes to how people of color in Baltimore were being taken advantage of by white dudes. Instead of fish and chips these folks either ate or were exposed to toxic “Southern fried” lead paint chips and people like brother Freddie Gray got pretty messed up. Some of the smart ones like Freddie Gray got structured settlements because it was the right thing to do. Dozens and Dozens of these brothers and sisters and other minorities were taken advantage of by white folks.
Up your ass
With that lump sum of cash
Best not do anything rash
Financial advisers,
These guys ain’t as wise as.
They hold themselves out
Like they got the same clout
Ain’t got the designations
Can you believe the indignation?
Like 101 Dalmations
Into annuity lactation
Milking your ass dry
So bad you wanna cry
Wish you was Marty McFly
or the Sultan of Brunei
So let me simplify
Lump sum for annuity
Ain’t tutti fruity
Cash for structured settlement
More fun to ride an elephant
No discounted lump sums
From two-bit flat ass bums
Who buys your structure
Ain’t your chums
Some ply you with booze
Hoping that you succumb
To the lump sum drum
Leaving you just the crumbs
If I want crumbs I’ll eat crumb cake
No more dealing with cash now snakes
Two bit hustlers with a pitch that’s opaque
Tell those fakes to jump in a lake.
Just remember this
It ain’t “lump sumptous”
It’s lump dumb shits.