Up Your Ass With That Lump Sum Of Cash

Up Your ass with lump sum of cash because structured settlement cash now sucks. Lump sum for structured settlement is where you sell your structured settlement payments for a fraction of what it is worth.

In August 2015, as information started oozing out of Access Funding in Chevy Chase like a draining abcess, it opened up a lot of people’s eyes to how people of color in Baltimore were being taken advantage of  by white dudes.  Instead of fish and chips these folks either ate or were exposed to toxic  “Southern fried” lead paint chips and people like brother Freddie Gray  got pretty messed up. Some of the smart ones like Freddie Gray got structured settlements because it was the right thing to do. Dozens and Dozens of these brothers and sisters and other minorities were taken advantage of by white folks.

Up your ass

With that lump sum of cash

Best not do anything rash


Financial advisers,

These guys ain’t as wise as.

They hold themselves out

Like they got the same clout

Ain’t got the designations

Can you believe the indignation?


Like 101 Dalmations

Into annuity lactation

Milking your ass dry

So bad you wanna cry

Wish you was Marty McFly

or the Sultan of Brunei

So let me simplify


Lump sum  for annuity

Ain’t tutti fruity

Cash for structured settlement

More fun to ride an elephant

No discounted lump sums

From two-bit  flat ass bums


Who buys your structure

Ain’t your chums

Some ply you with booze

Hoping that you succumb

To the lump sum drum

Leaving you just the crumbs


If I want crumbs I’ll eat crumb cake

No more dealing with cash now snakes

Two bit hustlers with a pitch that’s opaque

Tell those fakes to jump in a lake.


Just remember this

It ain’t “lump sumptous”

It’s lump dumb shits.











Published by FunkyChicken

I love funky music, lyrical poetry and the "rhyme sublime". A rapper with an interest in structured settlements. I read about too many brothers and sisters getting hosed by advertisers buying structured settlements. Having to sell your structured settlement sucks, but many people don't have the access to the information they need and making bad decisions, so I decided to rap home the message.

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