Structured settlement buyers like to entice you with a sign on bonus or a free IPad, smartphone or TV. It’s a sucker’s play to divert you from the massive amount of future value you will be losing by selling your structured settlement. Are you a sucka?
Sign on bonus
Swallow you in like Jonahs
With a fuckin lie as tall as Petronas
Now the onus on you
To have some kajones
Free IPad, TV or a gift card
Bitch you ain’t A-Rod going yard
With endless calls they bombard
Poor Terry got taken to avant-garde
Used to strut down the boulevard
Sign on bonus. Thought you was the star
Now you all just feathered and tarred
You used to party with Marky-Mark
Now your life is lookin’ stark
Burnt the damn “stake” like Joan of Arc.
Sign on bonus thought you was the tsar
Off you went to Zanzibar
Drink champagne out of a samovar
With elephant Babar and a dude named Jaffar
Then off you went to Cote D’Ivoire
To hear Gregoire from Myanmar play da guitar
Then you woke up at Balthazar
New York New York for those from afar
Wuz just dreamin’ hardy har-har
What it would be like to have a doll-ar.
Cash now sucks eh “superstar”?
So keep your income
So you don’t succumb
To be eating crumbs
Because of cash now scum.
Cash now for structured settlement sucks
Forget the sign on bonus. Buy your own TV!