Sell My Structured Settlement

Sell structured settlement advertising is mostly bullshit. Here we have a good laugh about a hypothetical encounter with a company in Florida that is trying to get you to sell your structured settlement.  Enjoy the rhyme sublime homies!


Sell my structured settlement

Is Not a Good Idea

Dude can’t even pronounce onomatopoeia

Funk coming off a him smell like diarrhea

This the best they got, in the city of Hialeah?


Sell my structured settlement

Is the dumbest thing I could do

Better off reading the New York Post

While taking a giant poo.


Sell my structured settlement

I thought I need cash now

But thanks to my IPA

I don’t need that now


Sell your structured settlement

For one great big lump sum

He told me of some other ways

That I don’t turn into a bum


Sell your structured settlement

Get your cash up front

That’s so bloody unstable

Might as well give up and punt


Sell a structured settlement

Is for the down and unsophisticated

Settlement buyers such fuckin’ liars

You complain you been “misrepresentated” (sic)


Sold her structured settlement

She listened to the marketing slop

Now she’s wishing she didn’t

Since she got a big chop chop


Cash now really sucks

After he sold his long term structure

He thought he could handle it all

Until his tendon did rupture


Now he’s unable to work

He feels like a fuckin’ jerk

You know what don’t even perk

When his home girl begins to twerk.


Her name ain’t Miley

But she ain’t smiley

He feels like such an ass

Cause he sold his structure for a lump sum of cash


Sell my structured settlement

Is not the best idea

Even if you can spell onomatopoeia

You’re better off keeping your income

And live on it for 20 years

Instead of looking like Jabba the Hut

After he’s had 30 beers.


The moral of the story is “Say NO to ratification of instant gratification”  (that you have to wait 60-90 days for anyway, IF a court approves)



















Published by FunkyChicken

I love funky music, lyrical poetry and the "rhyme sublime". A rapper with an interest in structured settlements. I read about too many brothers and sisters getting hosed by advertisers buying structured settlements. Having to sell your structured settlement sucks, but many people don't have the access to the information they need and making bad decisions, so I decided to rap home the message.

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