Sell structured settlement advertising is mostly bullshit. Here we have a good laugh about a hypothetical encounter with a company in Florida that is trying to get you to sell your structured settlement. Enjoy the rhyme sublime homies!
Sell my structured settlement
Is Not a Good Idea
Dude can’t even pronounce onomatopoeia
Funk coming off a him smell like diarrhea
This the best they got, in the city of Hialeah?
Sell my structured settlement
Is the dumbest thing I could do
Better off reading the New York Post
While taking a giant poo.
Sell my structured settlement
I thought I need cash now
But thanks to my IPA
I don’t need that now
Sell your structured settlement
For one great big lump sum
He told me of some other ways
That I don’t turn into a bum
Sell your structured settlement
Get your cash up front
That’s so bloody unstable
Might as well give up and punt
Sell a structured settlement
Is for the down and unsophisticated
Settlement buyers such fuckin’ liars
You complain you been “misrepresentated” (sic)
Sold her structured settlement
She listened to the marketing slop
Now she’s wishing she didn’t
Since she got a big chop chop
Cash now really sucks
After he sold his long term structure
He thought he could handle it all
Until his tendon did rupture
Now he’s unable to work
He feels like a fuckin’ jerk
You know what don’t even perk
When his home girl begins to twerk.
Her name ain’t Miley
But she ain’t smiley
He feels like such an ass
Cause he sold his structure for a lump sum of cash
Sell my structured settlement
Is not the best idea
Even if you can spell onomatopoeia
You’re better off keeping your income
And live on it for 20 years
Instead of looking like Jabba the Hut
After he’s had 30 beers.
The moral of the story is “Say NO to ratification of instant gratification” (that you have to wait 60-90 days for anyway, IF a court approves)