Structured Settlement Rip Off

Rip Off Reports appearing on the RipOffReport.Com website that are about structured settlement companies or people in the structured settlement industry seem to be written by competitors.  The competitors then try optimize the Rip Off Reports to fuck over their competitors.  Rip Off Report will never remove anything even if you pay them $10,000, so for the writer its like a writing a Scarlet Letter,  a “shadenfreudian slip”

Structured Settlement Rip Off Report

Excrement written by a jerk off

Don’t matter who they target

It’s always something to for-get

 

Structured Settlement Rip Off Report

“Free speech” by animals who snort

Masquerading as a consumer retort

The Mo Fos  are all out of sorts

 

Jerks Offs Make Rip Off Reports useless

Fake complaints like meth mouth

Utterly toothless

There are more credible sources

For structured settlement resources

 

Rip Off Reports Are By Settlement Buyers

Bottom of the barrel scum

The fuckin liars

No level of human decency

An unethical insurgency

 

Structured settlement rip off report

Stank up the air like 5 day old pork

Or I-95 South in that State by New York

The only way out is to sing like Bjork.

and chant Nanu Nanu just like Mork.

 

Fake Tales of Rip Offs, Scams, and Thieves

Ponzi with whipped cream if you please

Cruising down the “River of Sleaze”

An oozing sludge filled stream of grease.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Settlement Exchange | It’s Very Strange

Settlement Exchange falsely implies a regulated marketplace.  Settlement exchange is nothing like a stock exchange which is highly regulated.  According to online sources, there is no federal or state supervision of so called “settlement exchanges”. Structured settlement sellers or structured settlement investors should therefore not be confused.

Settlement exchange its very strange

To deal with no regulation

You got to be deranged

You want to keep yo home on the range

You don’t want to be shortchanged.

 

You wake up in the morning

And your dog got mange

Your throat be hurting

Grab a loz-enge

Out you  head to the interchange

To da so called “settlement exchange”

 

So you take the mangy mutt to the vet

On the way in the car he took a “sh*t”

So you had to pay to clean your fuckin car

When you memba that you left the door ajar

So you go back home with the stinky dog

And on the way he drops another “log”

Then back you go to the doggy vet

Get there and see the seat now wet

 

So you drop him at the vet

When you see a brunette

With whom you’d like a tete a tete

I’m on my way to settlement exchange

A big lump sum I’m trying to arrange

She said “bad dump” in here smelling strange

Yeah I know, the mutt’s got mange.

 

So I spritz as little spray

Said my name is “Trey”

Come play with me today

She hopped into my vette

And adjusts her barette

She says her name is Juliette

Off we go to the interchange

To the structured settlement exchange

 

Then we get to the settlement exchange

This night of all nights I’m trying to arrange

For my structure I  be  gettin’ chump change

That’s the difference between a rose and carnation

A sure end to my flirtation

When she sees that the steak I promised

Is a puny crustacean

 

But the girl she gave me a big surprise

She said Trey you ain’t bein’ wise

Selling your structure ain’t the thing to do

No regulation here that’s poo.

 

Then I broke into a smile

Told Juliette I like her style

This interlude has been real worthwhile.

She kept me from the crocodiles

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sign On Bonus

Structured settlement buyers like to entice you with a sign on bonus or a free IPad, smartphone or TV. It’s a sucker’s play to divert you from the massive amount of future value you will be losing by selling your structured settlement.  Are you a sucka?

Sign on bonus

Swallow you in like Jonahs

With a fuckin lie as tall as Petronas

Now the onus on you

To have some kajones

 

Free IPad, TV or a gift card

Bitch you ain’t A-Rod going yard

With endless calls they bombard

Poor Terry got taken to avant-garde

 

Used to strut down the boulevard

Sign on bonus. Thought you was the star

Now you all just feathered and tarred

You used to party with Marky-Mark

Now your life is lookin’ stark

Burnt the damn “stake” like Joan of Arc.

 

Sign on bonus thought you was the tsar

Off you went to Zanzibar

Drink champagne out of a samovar

With elephant Babar and a dude named Jaffar

 

Then off  you went to Cote D’Ivoire

To hear Gregoire from Myanmar play da guitar

Then you woke up at Balthazar

New York New York for those from afar

Wuz just dreamin’ hardy har-har

What it would be like to have a doll-ar.

Cash now sucks eh “superstar”?

 

So keep your income

So you don’t succumb

To be eating crumbs

Because of cash now scum.

 

Cash now for structured settlement sucks

Forget the sign on bonus. Buy your own TV!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Structured Settlement Sale

Should you do a structured settlement sale or a structured settlement loan?   The choices are A, B, or neither one.  Read on.

Structured Settlement Sale

Your wallet on the third rail

Eating out of garbage pails

Things sure ain’t swell  (with Southern accent)

 

I just want a home

Where da buffalo roam

First word from Jerome

A structured settlement loan?

Don’t make me groan

I just start my poem

My mouth starts to foam

Once he said “shalom”

Time to hit the “throne”

 

Structured settlement sale

Cure for payments as slow as a snail?

He forgot one small detail

Structured settlement pays ’til I’m frail

He began to backpedal and flail

On his logic he becomes so impaled

It was obvious time to bail

This huckster’s train totally derailed.

 

An attorney from Texas named Jamail

Said from the greedy ” do not inhale”

Better off to eat some more kale

Your structured settlement will never go stale

 

It’s important to weigh on the scale

If sell your structure will cure your travails

Or those annoying little hangnails

Structured settlement sale not the Holy Grail

Tapped out in a few years you will wail.

As you be stuck in your habit trail.

Swallowed in debt like Jonah by the Whale.

 

So let me throw you a bone

Fuck structured settlement loan

From rampant spending you must atone

And get some better cologne

Stay away from Boca Raton, and

Vinnie Boombatz from Bayonne

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get The Cash You Need Sooner

Structured settlement buyers be falling all over themselves trying to convince you that they can get the cash you need sooner.  Unless the structured settlement buyers want to pay everyone’s “Uncle” 40%,  for not following the law, then they just full of head cheese.  Pay no mind to the structured settlement buyers,  but enjoy this rhyme sublime playfully poking fun at the claim of  “get cash now sooner” or “get the cash you need sooner”.  So here we go:

Get the cash you need sooner

Say the sell structured settlement crooners

Slap head honey lampooners

Skippin’ out for “nooners” with piano tuners

 

Get the cash you need sooner

Said the buy structured settlement pruner

They give you 50% for your payment

In the future you can’t pay your rent

Why you didn’t think of this sooner?   (LOL)

 

While It seemed like a brand new dawn

When your future payments you did pawn

Now you’re over withdrawn

Your wife ran off with Shaun

And you can’t even afford a prawn

 

Your new girl starts to yawn

‘Cause all your money is gone

“Beef jerky” the size of a micron.

So ending her interest thereon.

 

Beware of buyer named Crayola

Can’t get it done in Mineola

Gives you payola in granola

Said be pushin’ this kid in a stroll-ah

When you walk into court in Osceola

 

The judge be fooled or so they say

It ain’t rubber stamp no way

Who cares if the brother from here anyway?

He involved with the fraud, this charade.

 

So who is he to complain

To a website that is registered in Spain?

The financial drain that is a pain

Left him with hardly a grain

It drives him insane in the brain

From cash now he should have abstained.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Your Cash Now

Get Your Cash Now

Hear Ye  Hear Ye

Get Your Cash Now

Hear Ye Hear Ye

You may may as well be at the circus and substitute the word “peanuts”.   In this case you are nuts to enter the cash now circus.

 

Cash now like a circus baby

Trapeze into the a-byss, maybe

Three rings of hocus pocus

They want you lose your focus

 

Get your cash now cotton candy

Best thing since Andy Pandy

Think it gonna make you randy

And everything soon be dandy

 

But the ringmaster is a fuckin liar

Just like a structured settlement buyer

With big ass radial tires

And sausage fingers like Oscar Meyer.

 

The predatory structured settlement buyer

Put your structured settlement on a funeral pyre

Get Your Cash Now Said He

Instead of listening you should just flee

 

Instead you going to get fleeced

Just like the poor people in Greece

Don’t look for help from your niece

Heard she spent it all on a piece

 

By a piece I be talking a wig

Hair’s failing out bro , don’t you dig?

Could no longer afford a shindig

By mistake some Nair she did swig.

 

Chicken thighs ain’t apple pies

As I’m sure you realize

But cash now is just shit for flies

As time flies there is no disguise

The dough you had no longer rise

 

Money you anticipated

Is quickly dissipated

Your mama said “who ate it?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sell Structured Settlement For Cash

Should you sell your structured settlement for cash?  I don’t think so.  Here’s why.

 

Sell structured settlement for cash?

Why should you do anything rash

Rustle up some corn beef hash

Instead of making a hash of your cash

And smoking the rest of your stash

Go British with bangers and mash

 

Sell structured settlement for “alot”

Da sharks all thrash for what you got

Your financial plan’s got the rot

So said the caber tossing Scot.

 

Your honey she wants (you) to buy a yacht

Your honey she wants to tie the knot

Your wants you to go for a trot

On the horse that you bought her named Spot

 

So you sell structured settlement for cash

And you thought you were making a big splash

You really were just emptying your cache

Of the payments that were meant to last.

 

And so began the back-lash

The bitch began her tongue lash

Over her  “suffer-ing succotash”

She kept on trying to rehash

What an ass I was and we clashed

 

He felt like he crashed and burned

Couldn’t believe how his life had turned

The girl was ready to adjourn

Throw the relationship in the cistern

 

Told me she saw a patt-ern

About my inability to discern

Gonna take you years and years

To earn back what you did burn

 

Left me for  dude named Charlie

Who rides a  big fuckin’ Harley

With teeth that are pretty narly

And drinks beer with a bowl of barley

 

Sell structured settlement for cash

Your future be gone in a flash

You made a total mishmash

Acting on that balderdash.

 

Selling your structured settlement for cash is not a great idea for most people.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get Cash For Structured Settlement

You think you want to get cash for structured settlement, but the teaser often turns out to not be a crowd pleaser.  You give up way too much.  Don’t want to be living in a rabbit hutch,  Dutch!  A free I-Pad or a couple of gift cards pales in comparison to what you give up.  Here we go, Here we go…

Need cash now really bad

Doc gonna remove your left nad

Get cash for settlement is truly bad

Worse than living with a lonely nad.

You’ll lose more than a half

Before you realize your gaffe

Yo bro you just been had

 

Now go on and take a bath

Smell so bad those hoes are aghast

Use a little soap

To hide the smell you dope

Nobody mistakin’ you for da Pope

 

Get cash for structured settlement

Is so easy to say

Think you’ll be rolling in dough

And after, it’ll be a fine day

 

But you couldn’t be more wrong

Like Ted, can’t get rid of dat bong

Now you coming up short

When before you could afford to go long

 

Fifty Cents on the dollar

Like your dog’s choker collar

Worse than the days of Jimmy Carter

When gas first went over a dollar.

 

Get cash for structured settlement

Will hardly make a dent

Your future for sure is less secure

You’ll be lucky if you can pay your rent

Then you’ll look back and wonder why

You’re living in your Dad’s pup tent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sell My Structured Settlement

Sell structured settlement advertising is mostly bullshit. Here we have a good laugh about a hypothetical encounter with a company in Florida that is trying to get you to sell your structured settlement.  Enjoy the rhyme sublime homies!

 

Sell my structured settlement

Is Not a Good Idea

Dude can’t even pronounce onomatopoeia

Funk coming off a him smell like diarrhea

This the best they got, in the city of Hialeah?

 

Sell my structured settlement

Is the dumbest thing I could do

Better off reading the New York Post

While taking a giant poo.

 

Sell my structured settlement

I thought I need cash now

But thanks to my IPA

I don’t need that now

 

Sell your structured settlement

For one great big lump sum

He told me of some other ways

That I don’t turn into a bum

 

Sell your structured settlement

Get your cash up front

That’s so bloody unstable

Might as well give up and punt

 

Sell a structured settlement

Is for the down and unsophisticated

Settlement buyers such fuckin’ liars

You complain you been “misrepresentated” (sic)

 

Sold her structured settlement

She listened to the marketing slop

Now she’s wishing she didn’t

Since she got a big chop chop

 

Cash now really sucks

After he sold his long term structure

He thought he could handle it all

Until his tendon did rupture

 

Now he’s unable to work

He feels like a fuckin’ jerk

You know what don’t even perk

When his home girl begins to twerk.

 

Her name ain’t Miley

But she ain’t smiley

He feels like such an ass

Cause he sold his structure for a lump sum of cash

 

Sell my structured settlement

Is not the best idea

Even if you can spell onomatopoeia

You’re better off keeping your income

And live on it for 20 years

Instead of looking like Jabba the Hut

After he’s had 30 beers.

 

The moral of the story is “Say NO to ratification of instant gratification”  (that you have to wait 60-90 days for anyway, IF a court approves)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unlock Structured Settlement

Unlock structured settlement is a pile of marketing crock created by structured settlement buyers some of who even use handcuff images to deceive and entice unsophisticated brothers and homes who are receiving structured settlement payments, to sell them at a big discount.  Here’s more rhyme sublime  to give you the 411 on this predatory “unlock structured settlement” advertising scheme.

A structured settlement unlock

Just a piece of marketing crock

Like Hickory Dickory Dock

But the”mouse” ran off with your lot.

 

Unlock structured settlement

Is rarely for your betterment

Be left with half your dough

Believe me bro that blows

Few people that do it crow

 

Unlock structured settlement

A phrase that is used

By some who wish to light your fuse

Cash now sounds like news you can use

But the path there is fraught with abuse

 

Unlock structured settlement

Why the key don’t work?

‘Cause you got forum shopped, fuckin’ jerks

Said you live where you don’t own

Worked until your cover was blown

 

Unlock your structured settlement

Turned you into a fraud

Your intention was flawed

Now you’re eatin salt cod

Livin’ in a pea pod.

 

Unlock your structured settlement

Every river is has a little sediment

But the income river still flows

That’s your structure Satch Mo’!

Structured settlement payments

They keep you in the flow Joe.

 

So check your locks

Don’t let em be picked

By needle nosed cash now pricks

Be transfixed or fooled

By their bag of tricks

Pour yourself a lemonade mix

And with the money you saved

Some sweet ass new kicks.

 

Unlock your structured settlement is  a heap of crap

Coming my friends is the end of this rap

Hope I keep you from the booby trap

The unlock structured settlement trap.

 

Lyrics by Stanky Franky