Get The Cash You Need Sooner

Structured settlement buyers be falling all over themselves trying to convince you that they can get the cash you need sooner.  Unless the structured settlement buyers want to pay everyone’s “Uncle” 40%,  for not following the law, then they just full of head cheese.  Pay no mind to the structured settlement buyers,  but enjoy this rhyme sublime playfully poking fun at the claim of  “get cash now sooner” or “get the cash you need sooner”.  So here we go:

Get the cash you need sooner

Say the sell structured settlement crooners

Slap head honey lampooners

Skippin’ out for “nooners” with piano tuners


Get the cash you need sooner

Said the buy structured settlement pruner

They give you 50% for your payment

In the future you can’t pay your rent

Why you didn’t think of this sooner?   (LOL)


While It seemed like a brand new dawn

When your future payments you did pawn

Now you’re over withdrawn

Your wife ran off with Shaun

And you can’t even afford a prawn


Your new girl starts to yawn

‘Cause all your money is gone

“Beef jerky” the size of a micron.

So ending her interest thereon.


Beware of buyer named Crayola

Can’t get it done in Mineola

Gives you payola in granola

Said be pushin’ this kid in a stroll-ah

When you walk into court in Osceola


The judge be fooled or so they say

It ain’t rubber stamp no way

Who cares if the brother from here anyway?

He involved with the fraud, this charade.


So who is he to complain

To a website that is registered in Spain?

The financial drain that is a pain

Left him with hardly a grain

It drives him insane in the brain

From cash now he should have abstained.






























Published by FunkyChicken

I love funky music, lyrical poetry and the "rhyme sublime". A rapper with an interest in structured settlements. I read about too many brothers and sisters getting hosed by advertisers buying structured settlements. Having to sell your structured settlement sucks, but many people don't have the access to the information they need and making bad decisions, so I decided to rap home the message.

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