Court Scrapers Information Rapers

Court scrapers are like information rapers. Some people who enter into structured settlements, are surprised to receive phone calls from complete strangers right away or years later encouraging them to sell their structured settlement payments. The incessant and harrassing phone calls come from structured settlement buyers, some of whom are very aggressive and offensive.  There are no rules to protect structured settlement payees from the information rapers. This latest rap by Master Funky Chicken pokes fun at court scrapers.


Court scrapers

Information rapers

Pullin’ capers

Be In newspapers


Court scrapers buzz the archives

Making hay from what makes you thrive

From Da Bronx to Van Nuys

Sideways cap, jeans down to their thighs


From kangaroo courts

Got your reports

What’s your retort?

Cuz you got porked.


Your Privacy they invade

Don’t drink the Kool Aid

Like old “June Bug Spade”

Got you made in the shade


They gonna git you sucka

That right mutha plucka

You dirty ole trucker

Quit playin’ with ya schmucker


Some structured settlement buyers

Big fuckin’ liars

Break up your structures

With rusty pliers


Court scrapers

Information rapers

For your labors

Money up in vapors


Court scrapers

Information rapers

Darth Vaders

In hip waders


Sherlocks and Shylocks

Pointy ears like Mr Spock

Sure ass ain’t Goldilocks

Finding payments want you to hock

Soon you be livin’ under a rock


Court scrapers buzz the archives

Making hay from what makes you thrive

With cash now blokes with who they connive

Nab steady income you need to survive


Court scrapers

Information rapers

Drinkin’ Colt 45

With paper chasers


Once you sell

You got that smell

Them cash now bugs

Drive you straight to hell


Keep your structured settlement!   Cash Now Sucks.  Sell Structured Settlement Sucks


Lyrics by Master Funky Chicken








Published by FunkyChicken

I love funky music, lyrical poetry and the "rhyme sublime". A rapper with an interest in structured settlements. I read about too many brothers and sisters getting hosed by advertisers buying structured settlements. Having to sell your structured settlement sucks, but many people don't have the access to the information they need and making bad decisions, so I decided to rap home the message.

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