Cash Now Sucks

Cash Fast for structured settlement is

A horse’s ass with effin’ Cheese Whiz

Lyin’ muthafukkaz grab on to your payments

Leaving y’all to graze on fuckin’ hay and Velamints

They Say Cash Fast

But They Can’t Make It Last

So Now You Force to Fast

And Feel Like a Dumb Ass

Structured Settlement Cash Fast

On your payments a sumptuous repast

Pennies on the dollah

And ring around the collar

They wisk away your payments

And kick y’all to the pavement

They got no advice

Just hot air and head lice.

Fast Advance ain’t no romance

MoFos get in you in a trance

A bit of misdirection

Like the last election

Trapped by imagination

No congratulation

So take no advice

From “Miami Vice”

Stick with fried rice

Keep it in your pocket, now THAT’s nice

Cash Fast or Fast Cash

A big effing pain in the ass

Like walking barefoot on glass

Bleeding a muthafukkin’ rash

A rash for cash you say

Sucka play for your money they make

They Be Stacking Benjamins

You in a trance like you was on Ketamin

Hydrogenated like margarine

Sliding on Parkay floor

While they circle back to rob you some more.

DRB Capital, AnFed Bank, CBC Settlement Funding,  Seneca One,

Up Your ass with lump sum of cash because structured settlement cash now sucks. Lump sum for structured settlement is where you sell your structured settlement payments for a fraction of what it is worth.

In August 2015, as information started oozing out of Access Funding in Chevy Chase like a draining abcess, it opened up a lot of people’s eyes to how people of color in Baltimore were being taken advantage of  by white dudes.  Instead of fish and chips these folks either ate or were exposed to toxic  “Southern fried” lead paint chips and people like brother Freddie Gray  got pretty messed up. Some of the smart ones like Freddie Gray got structured settlements because it was the right thing to do. Dozens and Dozens of these brothers and sisters and other minorities were taken advantage of by white folks.

Up your ass

With that lump sum of cash

Best not do anything rash

Financial advisers,

These guys ain’t as wise as.

They hold themselves out

Like they got the same clout

Ain’t got the designations

Can you believe the indignation?

Like 101 Dalmations

Into annuity lactation

Milking your ass dry

So bad you wanna cry

Wish you was Marty McFly

or the Sultan of Brunei

So let me simplify

Lump sum  for annuity

Ain’t tutti fruity

Cash for structured settlement

More fun to ride an elephant

No discounted lump sums

From two-bit  flat ass bums

Who buys your structure

Ain’t your chums

Some ply you with booze

Hoping that you succumb

To the lump sum drum

Leaving you just the crumbs

If I want crumbs I’ll eat crumb cake

No more dealing with cash now snakes

Two bit hustlers with a pitch that’s opaque

Tell those fakes to jump in a lake.

Just remember this

It ain’t “lump sumptous”

It’s lump dumb shits.